The Power of Forgiveness

When I think about forgiveness in my faith journey, it seems like it should come easily. But the truth is, genuine forgiveness is often tough. While forgiveness may be difficult, it is one of the most powerful and freeing acts someone can experience.

Let’s look at three parts of forgiveness: forgiveness of self, others, and God. Each is unique, but all are equally important when working towards healing and wholeness.

1. Forgiveness of Self
Forgiveness of self sounds funny, like, “why do I need to forgive myself for something?” But really, if there is guilt and shame that haunts you, there is probably a need to forgive yourself.

I’ve found in my own life that I hold myself to a much higher standard than I hold others to; therefore, when I fall short of those standards, I tend to blame myself for my wrongdoings. I look at all the reasons I was at fault and how the situation was my doing, even if it wasn’t. While I know God offers grace freely, I tend to withhold it from myself.

When we forgive ourselves, we aren’t excusing our wrongdoing but acknowledging it and learning from it. We have a choice to stop punishing ourselves for something we can no longer change.

Forgiving yourself starts by accepting that we are more than our past mistakes, and we need to practice extending grace to ourselves.

If God doesn’t condemn us, why do we stay stuck in cycles of self-condemnation?

2. Forgiveness of Others
When most people think about forgiveness, they first think about forgiving others. However, remember that forgiving isn’t the same as forgetting, nor does it mean condoning what happened. I believe that whether you feel another person deserves forgiveness, you aren’t forgiving them for their sake, you’re forgiving them for your own. When we choose to forgive someone, we are choosing to not let the situation hold us captive.

When you harbor resentment and anger towards someone, it does not affect the person who has wronged you; instead, it creates a cold and bitter heart within yourself. Forgiveness frees us from that weight.

Forgiveness may look different for every situation. It may be a one-time decision, or you may have to make a daily decision that you have forgiven someone. Each time we choose forgiveness in our hearts, we are creating room for God to heal those broken areas.

In this portion of Scripture, Jesus isn’t suggesting that we forgive; he was commanding us to forgive. When we can forgive, we unlock the peace we have been longing for.

3. Forgiveness of God
Forgiveness of God can feel strange; however, as Christians, it is normal to get mad at God. We question why He didn’t stop the pain, why He didn’t answer our prayers, why He allows suffering, and even question where He is at.

Ultimately, forgiving God isn’t about something He has done wrong because we know God does no wrong. It’s about letting go of the hurt we carry in our hearts, so we can better trust Him.

I’ve found it helpful in my own life to tell God when I’m angry at Him, just like I’d tell someone else I love if I were angry with them. I tell myself that I can’t stay angry with God, so I use tools to help myself through it. Some of these tools are prayer, reading Scripture, and worship. Every season will be different, but by the end of it, you come to forgive God, because you can see how He is going to use that hardship and pain for His glory.

One of my favorite Scriptures on forgiveness is Luke 23:34, “Jesus said, ‘Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.’” If Jesus can forgive the people who are persecuting Him and sending Him to the cross, can’t we forgive one another?

• Are you struggling to forgive yourself for something in your past?
• Is there someone in your life that you need to forgive?
• Are you harboring anger towards God that you need to acknowledge and address?

If you answered yes to any of those questions, take some time to pray about it. Talk to someone close to you whom you trust. Know that forgiveness is a process that won’t happen overnight, but it is the beginning of your healing journey.

Cover photo by Vince Fleming on Unsplash

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