Three Ways to Make Friends at Church

Building genuine friendships is hard. It takes time, effort, and a level of vulnerability that doesn’t always come easily. We all long to be known and deeply connected, yet finding those kinds of relationships can feel like an uphill climb. And sometimes, surprisingly, it can feel even harder within the church. While the church is meant to be a place of belonging and spiritual family, many of us still wrestle with feelings of isolation, wondering where we fit in or how to form meaningful connections with others.

Growing up, I never had a close or consistent group of friends. Different seasons of life and changing activities often left me longing for genuine friendship and companionship. When I headed off to college, I felt like I had a fresh opportunity to finally find that. I made friends, but many of those relationships led down unhealthy paths or left me feeling even more alone. Despite my best efforts, I continued to face the same emptiness—an unfulfilled longing for real connection.

It wasn’t until years later that I began to recognize God’s provision in those lonely seasons. He had a plan for me all along—one I couldn’t yet see. God was preparing my heart and positioning the right people on the horizon; I simply needed to become the person He was shaping me to be.

I also had to learn that making friends isn’t easy. When I moved to college, I got involved in a church right away, but still found it difficult to connect. I’d call myself a bubbly person—but only once you get to know me. Building friendships in a new church, or even within church life in general, can be hard.

After becoming a follower of Christ, I realized that community isn’t just a nice addition to the Christian life—it’s essential. Scripture reminds us not to neglect meeting together (Hebrews 10:25). God designed us for community, with Himself and with other believers, and the church is both the setting and the source of much of our spiritual growth.

But building meaningful relationships in the church doesn’t just happen by accident. It takes intentionality, consistency, and a willingness to step out of our comfort zones. If you’re longing for deeper friendships within your church family, here are a few simple ways to start:

1. Stick around on a Sunday morning.
If you want to build friendships in the church, start by showing up consistently and introducing yourself to at least one new person each week. Church relationships grow over time, and the more people see you, the easier it becomes to connect. If your church has a welcome or connections team, consider joining it—it’s a great way to meet others while serving.

2. Join a small group.
Small groups create space for fellowship, encouragement, and accountability. When you consistently invest time with a group of believers, friendships begin to form naturally. These are the people who will walk with you through both ordinary and defining moments of life.

3. Start serving.
Our sense of belonging in the church often deepens when we move from simply attending to actively participating. When you serve, you get to know people who share your faith and values, and you build friendships through shared experiences and teamwork.az

Creating and sustaining friendships can be hard, but I encourage you to take a leap of faith. Building genuine relationships takes time, vulnerability, and grace—both for yourself and others. Take a chance for yourself, for your family, and for your own spiritual growth. You never know how God might use a simple conversation, a shared meal, or a moment of honesty to begin something meaningful. Community doesn’t happen overnight, but when we show up and open our hearts, God has a way of bringing the right people into our lives at just the right time.

Cover photo by Gaspar Zaldo on Unsplash

© Copyright 2024. Unless otherwise noted, all Scripture quotations taken from The Holy Bible, New international Version® NIV® Copyright © 1973 1978 1984 2011 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.