Every family has a rhythm.
I discovered the rhythm of my childhood through my dad’s diaries that he left behind. Time mattered to my dad. I’ve been reading through them since he passed at 89 years old. He recorded every day for over 50 years, and it didn’t take long for me to notice some patterns.
There was a rhythm to our family life. There were consistent activities that happened every day and every week. There was school, work, and chores around the house; family meals, gatherings with extended family and friends, serving the community, and being involved at church. This rhythm established what was acceptable and what was not acceptable. It determined what was talked about around the dinner table and it shaped our circle of influence. This rhythm of life kept the members of our family connected.
If you look closely at what your family does and when, you may also find there are consistent things that happen every day and every week. The rhythm in your home sets your family values and gives your kids something to believe in. When you create a rhythm, you establish priorities. Whether it’s mealtimes, car rides, or bedtime routines, you can leverage that time to have a meaningful connection with your kids. On hard days or in hard seasons, family rhythms help your kids recenter on what is true.
A long, long time ago there was a leader who wanted to help families “find their rhythm.” Moses wanted to tell families how they could follow God’s laws and learn to live out God’s ways together. He told them how to learn and practice them in their homes. This is how he explained it:
Listen, O Israel! The Lord is our God, the Lord alone. And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength. And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands that I am giving you today. Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up.
Deuteronomy 6:4-7
These verses show us that faith in God is passed through the ordinary, everyday activities of our lives. Here's another way to say it: Families, teach your kids to love God and talk about God as you go about your day—morning, mealtime, in the car, and bedtime.
Your daily rhythms can be tools to shape your family into the likeness of Jesus. Leverage the ordinary. It all takes place in your week doing things you already do together.
I share with young parents in our First Steps class that they have 936 weeks to do most of their influencing (that’s the number of weeks from birth until age eighteen). Because when you know how much time you have, you make the most of your time. That’s exactly what Moses’ “Seize the Day” prayer was in Psalm 90:12:
“Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.”
Here is a guided prayer to ask God to help you in creating a rhythm for your family:
God, help me to number my days and make each one count. Thank you for the wisdom to use ordinary, everyday activities in the rhythm of life to build connections with my family and point them to you. Amen.
For more resources: Family Ministry Resources